Those of you who have Indigo children know how hard it can be to get them to take action in their lives. And their tendency to get frustrated, anxious, and depressed causes you to worry about them when you see them sliding into a downward spiral because they aren’t meeting their goals or feel stuck. You know that once they get there, it is very hard to get them out of it (and this is true of all Indigos). So what do you do when you know they need a little nudge to get them moving but you don’t want to interfere too much in their lives, or be too pushy, or sound like your nagging them? When is it appropriate shift the nudge into a push and then shove them into action?
All of my Indigo children are now adults so I have a policy of not interfering in their lives, which is sometimes difficult because as their mother and an empathic intuitive, I know when things are not going well, sometimes before they do. My motherly instincts include a desire to see them succeed and to be happy but I know that I can’t do that for them. I keep my advice and opinions to myself until they ask me for help or start to complain about their problems, then I go into action.
If they ask for my advice, I begin with a gentle nudge that starts with ‘Have you considered this as an option?” If they complain about the issue, I start with the nudge and move into pushing if they aren’t listening to me or just continue to complain. I move to shoving when they will not listen at all and only want to spiral farther downward into their misery. My shoving includes changing the subject and refusing to listen to their complaints, telling them that I am happy to talk once they are willing to listen to and act on my advice, making suggestions and getting their commitment to take action on at least one of them. Then I follow up to make sure that they do.
For some parents of Indigos, there are addiction and mental health problems that require consideration but there is a fine line between empathy and enabling and you have to find the balance that works for you.
Sometimes it is necessary to stop your support and let them figure things out for themselves, especially if they have no interest in following your advice or are living in your house, not working, being rude and disrespectful, and using their depression and addictions as an excuse to not take action. Parent contracts with Indigos are very powerful and they include a promise to see them thrive and succeed but despite your best efforts, you cannot make them do that.
All you can do is indicate their options, as you see them, and let them do the rest. While it is painful to know that they are miserable, unhappy and depressed, it is their responsibility to turn that situation around and all you can do is give them the love, support, guidance and advice to help them do that, and then stand back and let them take action, with the appropriate nudges, pushes and shoves.